Boring

There isn't much to tell about the next event. Imagine a group of "super" beings sitting off to the side waiting for their turn to do one lift. Of course they had a whole bracket system down and...well...I couldn't be bothered to wait for the stupidity to end.

The object that was being lifted was a massive barbell. No weights on the ends. Under the ends were two raised diases that seemed to serve as large magnets. Very simple looking design. I'm sure underground was a whole different story.

There was a readout above the lifter that would show what the last lift was. Of course, it was alien, so I couldn't understand it. It wouldn't matter. I got up, out of turn, and at the protest of the rest of the contestants. They pointed at me shouting at the judges as I stepped, with arrogant purpose to the bar.

I raised one finger them smiling. I placed that finger under the bar. The readout shown 5 digits as the last lift. I bent over slightly gently clearing the bar from the ground. I couldn't beleive this had been so difficult to them! I raised and lowered my finger repeatedly. The digits increased as I did so, and so making the bar heavier, such as it is. Still light as a cloud, I bounced the weight from one finger to another. I played like this for a bit as the weight increased with each lift. Eventually, the machine gave up and released it's pull. Everyone watched as the bar drifted into the night sky. Without the magnetic pull, the bar wasn't more than 20 or so tons.

I rolled my eyes.

"Next!"

Faster than a speeding...well...anything...

Like I mentioned before, I was excited and intimidated all at the same time. I'd always been a believer that there is always someone faster, stronger, better than you somewhere in the universe. For me this is no longer the case, but I'd always thought so.

Our first event was to be a foot race covering 1 lap of the planet on foot. It's a little over 300,000 miles. Of course we all knew we could cover the distance. How fast was the question.

I crouched at the starting line. All my muscles taut and ready. The signal was given and I leapt forward. Within the first second, I noticed that I was already alone in the lead. I never looked back, though. I smiled to myself and poured it on. I felt free as I raced over the terrain at speeds you could only imagine. I imagine to the rest of the competitors I simply disappeared.

It seemed to take a bit of time in my accelerated state. Everything in motion stopped. I felt so free and alive. I saw the start/finish line. Every spectator seemed a statue frozen in time. I stopped.

"1.57 Seconds! It's a new record!"

I took a bow. I waited a bit for the rest, but got bored. I took off around the track once more. I couldn't believe how slow they were! I'm not sure if they could hear me giggling, but I lapped them 8 times before second place crossed the finish. He fell to his knees in exhaustion.

"About time." I quipped. I looked completely fresh.

He looked up gasping for breath, but completely surprised.

A slowed replay revealed that I was a streak that even their technology could not track. Somehow, at that moment, I realized how easy this was going to be. I'd have to make it really entertaining for my fans.

I can't help myself!

I thought I'd take a break for a bit, but I just HAVE to tell you about my Olympic fun!

Firstly, I can say with total confidence that I am the most powerful being in the universe. I can say this, because I proved it at the games. To say it was ridiculously lop-sided is like saying I'm just pretty. I'm deliciously beautiful, and my power is more than you could possibly imagine.

Now, I didn't feel that way at first. I was actually quite intimidated. (The thought of it is laughable now.) I was supposed to be up against the best of the best. Regardless, I didn't want to wear my uniform. I thought that'd be tacky. My solution was a belly chain. Nothing more. Decorative yet simple. Understand, hard as that may be for you, that Earth is the only planet I know of that has taboos about their own bodies. There, I would be right at home.

I look myself over in the mirror. I turn myself on sometimes. I pinched my nipples and ran my hands down my body. I felt...never mind that.

I left about a day late and arrived two days early by my perfect calculation. (Wrap your head around that one!) I went through the protocols for registration and took my place among the competitors. If I wasn't completely intimidated when I left, I was then. I was the smallest of the entire group, by a large margin. It's so funny to think about how easily I sweeped the events, but I did.

I'll tell you how next time!

Temporarily Out of Service

Author's Note: I'm putting this blog on hold for awhile. Don't expect anything until at least August. Thanks for checking in!