I can't help myself!

I thought I'd take a break for a bit, but I just HAVE to tell you about my Olympic fun!

Firstly, I can say with total confidence that I am the most powerful being in the universe. I can say this, because I proved it at the games. To say it was ridiculously lop-sided is like saying I'm just pretty. I'm deliciously beautiful, and my power is more than you could possibly imagine.

Now, I didn't feel that way at first. I was actually quite intimidated. (The thought of it is laughable now.) I was supposed to be up against the best of the best. Regardless, I didn't want to wear my uniform. I thought that'd be tacky. My solution was a belly chain. Nothing more. Decorative yet simple. Understand, hard as that may be for you, that Earth is the only planet I know of that has taboos about their own bodies. There, I would be right at home.

I look myself over in the mirror. I turn myself on sometimes. I pinched my nipples and ran my hands down my body. I felt...never mind that.

I left about a day late and arrived two days early by my perfect calculation. (Wrap your head around that one!) I went through the protocols for registration and took my place among the competitors. If I wasn't completely intimidated when I left, I was then. I was the smallest of the entire group, by a large margin. It's so funny to think about how easily I sweeped the events, but I did.

I'll tell you how next time!